The Great College Football Enneagram Kickoff!

Your favorite teams by the (enneagram) numbers.

In the spirit of my past post on dog breeds and the enneagram,

The Enneagram Unleashed

I thought I’d try the same exercise for this time of year when weekends are filled with rivalries, touchdowns, and heated debates over which team truly deserves the top spot. But ever thought of how your favorite college football teams could be described using the enneagram? No? Well, let's dive into this for a bit of unscientific and arguable fun!

1. The Perfectionist: Teams: Alabama Crimson Tide (SEC), Ohio State Buckeyes (Big Ten), Georgia Bulldogs (SEC)

Just like the Type 1 who constantly strives for perfection, these teams tend to always aim for a flawless season. They have a history of consistent wins and, let's be honest, we're all secretly (or not-so-secretly) envious of their trophy cabinets. Whether it’s the Process or helmet stickers earned through weekly achievement, Ones only have one goal: perfection.

2. The Helper: Teams: Utah Utes (Pac-12), Penn State Nittany Lions (Big Ten), the Service Academies (Army, Navy, Air Force.)

Always there, always competing at a high level, but usually overshadowed by the more flashy teams. Yet, just like a Type 2, teams like these are indispensable, and everyone knows that college football is better because of their team first image and competitive spirit.

3. The Achiever: Teams: Clemson Tigers (ACC), Oklahoma Sooners (Big 12), Florida State Seminoles (ACC)

These teams want to achieve, be the best, and have everyone know about it. Just like the Type 3, they thrive in the spotlight and love a good challenge. Whether it’s orange and purple (notice me!) or the Sooner Schooner racing around to cannon fire (notice me!) or the tomahawk chop (notice me!), their fan bases are only satisfied (and noticed) when they’re competing at the top.

4. The Individualist: Teams: Oregon Ducks (Pac 12), Notre Dame Fighting Irish (Independent), Georgia Tech Yellowjackets* (ACC)

Unique, with a touch of flair. Oregon, with those 1001 uniform combinations and Animal House roots, and Notre Dame, being Independent and all. Type 4s march to the beat of their own drum and these teams sure do too; Oregon with their lack of fear of offending tradition and the Fighting Irish with their lack of a need for conference affiliation. Their fan appeal transcends their geographic footprint with both the Pope’s and Phil Knight’s blessing. *Georgia Tech gets an emeritus mention here for running the triple option for so long; they recently abandoned it. They need to go back!

5. The Investigator: Teams: Stanford Cardinal (Pac 12), Kansas State (Big 12), Ole Miss Rebels (SEC)

These teams are historically strategic and often come up with game plans that leave us all scratching our heads... until we see the genius behind them. Overlook and underestimate at your own peril; give the Type 5 time to prepare and watch out. From three tight end sets to a QB that runs like a fullback to lining up linemen spread out wide like receivers, Fives love to use their intellect to investigate and dive deep into what is possible and unexpected.

6. The Loyalist: Teams: Florida Gators (SEC), Michigan Wolverines (Big Ten), USC Trojans (Pac 12), Texas Longhorns (SEC)

Through thick and thin, these teams have fans that stick by their side. And like a true Type 6, they showcase dedication and resilience year after year and never seem far from competing at the top, even after a down season or two. Whether it’s two fingers up for victory, the chomp in the Swamp, needing a “Michigan Man” at the helm, or the legend of Bevo, their fans are often misunderstood in the midst of losing, not realizing that loyalists never see themselves as anything other than current or about to be champions.

7. The Enthusiast: Teams: LSU Tigers (SEC), Mississippi State Bulldogs (SEC), Tennessee Volunteers (SEC), Miami Hurricanes* (ACC)

It's all about the party in the stadium and the dynamism on the field! These teams play with an enthusiasm and flair that’s contagious. Just like the ever-enthusiastic Type 7, they make sure the fun never stops. It’s not a surprise that three examples are from the SEC where it’s just different on Saturdays down South (Death Valley, the checkerboard at Neyland, or more cowbell!) *Miami is a bit of an emeritus pick but we’ll see if Mario Cristobal can deliver on the excitement he brought with him back to coach his alma mater!

8. The Challenger: Teams: Auburn Tigers (SEC), Wisconsin Badgers (Big Ten), Washington Huskies (Pac-12)

Always up for a challenge and never backing down from a fight. These teams, just like the Type 8, bring a level of intensity to the field that’s hard to match. Known for imposing their will by any means necessary and their fans and home stadiums are equally challenging (Kick Six, Jump Around, Sail-gating in Lake Washington!)

9. The Peacemaker: Teams: Virginia Tech Hokies (ACC), Iowa Hawkeyes (Big 10), *Nebraska Cornhuskers (Big 10)

Often the dark horses, these teams might not always be in the limelight, but they sure bring a balance to the competition. Whether it’s an emphasis on special teams or pausing every home game to wave at kids in the children’s hospital overlooking the stadium, the Type 9 can surprise you when you least expect it. *Historically a Top 10 all-time college football program, I had to put Nebraska in here somewhere. Certainly could fit the Type 6 - Loyalist and was once in there with the Type One - Perfectionist, they currently sit here with the Nines because they have lost so many one score games recently (and that brings peace to their opponents.) 🤷‍♂️

What’s your team and where do you think they fit on the enneagram? I’d love to hear your take in the comments!