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"Dude, Where's My Confidence?"
Finding your lost mojo and ditching doubt
Ok free subscribers, don’t think I’ve forgotten about all of you! Yes, it’s probably a tough week seeing me release a chapter a day of our new book, Texting God, to all of my paid subscribers. But hey, I’ve got you…this one’s for everybody!
I have a confession to make: I wasn’t very confident in following through with this freemium plan of some stuff paid and other stuff free. In fact, until the past few months, my wife Hayley and I even started to doubt if we were going to ever write books again, either individually or together. Heck, the last time I preached was over a year ago! That’s why this book release is such a big deal. So for those that know me, the following statement might be hard to believe, but it’s true:
I have trouble believing in myself.
*Gasps reverberate in the background*
Yes, despite the oodles of positive feedback, the earnest compliments, significant accomplishments, and the incredible number of people saying, "Hey, you're really good at this!", I'm still that dude fumbling around in the self-confidence department, trying to figure out how I got here, feeling such the imposter. But why?
Picture this: you're standing in front of a mirror, holding an award for something amazing you did. But all you can think of is, "Meh, I just got lucky this time," or "I mean, they probably made a mistake, right?" Sounds familiar? While you might think these beliefs about yourself are factual, you’re only looking at a fragment of your reflection. It’s a problem that a lot of us struggle against. We don’t see the totality of ourselves, just the negative comments and disbelief. Welcome to the Club of Unbelievers. We've got cookies. Seriously, they're delicious.
But fear not! I'm here to tell you that even if you're knee-deep in this self-doubt swamp, there are ways to pull yourself out. We're all in this together, so let's look at five steps that can help you climb out of this bog of uncertainty and finally start to rock those talents and gifts you've been hiding.
1. Meet Your Inner Critic (And Tell Them to Shush!)
Everyone has this nagging voice in their head that likes to question every single decision they make. It's the one that says, "Nah, you're not good enough" or "There's no way you can do that." Introduce yourself to that guy. His name's Marvin (or whatever you fancy calling him). Marvin is not your enemy, he just needs some guidance. So, every time Marvin pops up, acknowledge him, thank him for his opinion, and then politely offer him some tape for his mouth while you shine.
2. Use That Compliment as a Shield
Next time someone compliments you, don't brush it off like it's just another "meh" moment. Embrace it. Use it as a shield against Marvin's snarky comments. Write it down, put it in a jar, and every time you feel down, pull one out and remind yourself of your worth. This isn't narcissism, it's self-care. Trust me, it makes a difference.
3. Remember, You're not a Crystal Ball
As much as we love to think we can see the future, you’re not a magical orb or a fortune cookie. You can't see everything that will happen. So, stop worrying about what may or may not happen. Instead, focus on what you're doing right now. Spoiler alert: Most of the things we worry about never even happen. It's like spending a fortune on thousands of lottery tickets when you could've bought more cookies!
4. Power Pose, My Friend
Have you ever noticed how superheroes always strike a powerful pose? Yeah, it turns out, there's science behind that. Research suggests that adopting a "power pose" can actually boost your confidence. So, next time you feel doubt creeping in, stand tall, hands on hips, and channel your inner Superman (or Wonder Woman). If nothing else, it'll give you a good laugh (and better posture,) which is always a win.
5. Break the Doom Loop
Have you heard of the "doom loop"? It's this perpetual cycle of doubt, procrastination, more doubt, and more procrastination. To break it, start small. Set achievable goals, break them down into even smaller steps, and then celebrate every single victory, no matter how small. Before you know it, you'll be on your way to bigger things.
So, there you have it, fellow doubters. It's okay to question your abilities from time to time. It keeps us humble and grounded. But don't let that doubt become a barrier between you and what you can do with your gifts. You're amazing, just the way you are. And don't you forget that. Because even if you do, Marvin and I are here to remind you. Now, shall we go get those cookies?